Be child like

“A child who does not play is not a child, but the man who does not play has lost forever the child who lived in him.”

⁃ Pablo Neruda

My children reminded me how to be. How to move naturally yesterday. To be child like and just enjoy the present.

For weeks, actually months my older 2 daughters have been nagging and nagging to come along for a run with me. I submitted and agreed they could come. In fact I’ve given them two days they can run with me. Full on runs for them but nice active rest runs for me. When I normally run I think too much. How my stride is, what my body position is doing, checking my pace. It isn’t normally until 3-4 miles in that I find a steady relaxed pace and some what quieten down my inner dialogue. Only then do I begin to enjoy it.

We set off at a comfortable pace for us all. Not once did I think about what I was doing. I was checking on my daughters, making sure it wasn’t too tough on them. Encouraging them when they found it tough. Living and laughing together. Hearing them saying they are proud of themselves, learning to push through when it’s tough. To know and feel achievement.

Something I haven’t done on a run since I don’t know when.

I run as a necessity not a want or something I like to do. Now I’m counting down the days to our next run together.

Now I’m paying attention to playing. To been child like. What’s the point of been fit for life if you don’t play and enjoy it.

Now If i could just sit in a seated squat like my 2 year old.

Andy.

live like jay. Be like Goggins.

Advertisements

Wild child

“Stay wild, Stay child”

I often have glimpses into the future, futures I’d like to see.

I sometimes tell them not to. Tell them it’s rude. But lately I don’t.

Rude to who? Not to me.

To see them every morning enjoying their breakfast enjoying food. Draining every drop of the bowl with full belly’s slurps, giggles and laughter as they do so.

At some point an adult will tell them it’s rude to do so. Like their older sisters who rarely do it now. They will stop doing it. Made to feel less because someone else may find it rude.

I like to think of a future in a partners house somewhere or maybe on holiday with their partners parents sitting down to a nice breakfast.

Draining their breakfast bowls. The parents aghast and saying how rude.

The partner loving them for doing it as much as I do.

Stay wild child, stay wild.

Andy

Blue Monday on a Thursday.

Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.

– Henry Wandsworth Longfellow

Today is a low low day.

Several little things all at once are affecting me at the moment. This time of year and the pressures it brings. A job that I don’t hate or dislike as such but one I would (if I could) give up tomorrow. Lots of little niggly things that are becoming a big pain, a constant pain. These two things with 2 very close reminders of how fragile life is. Learning of someone who died suddenly and someone’s parent who as just been given days to live after finding a tumour.

I am tired of floating through life. The older I get the closer the end is coming. The more I am aware of the pain I will cause my children when I die. I hope to be old enough to see them in to adulthood. Strong enough and wise enough to cope with it.

I don’t want them to think I just floated through life aimlessly. I’m tired of working bloody hard with little to show for it. Not material things, experiences. A feeling of having made a difference.

We have to work, it’s a huge chunk of your life to feel dissatisfied about. A chunk of life you can never get back. I recently met a man who retired at 55. I can’t imagine been able to retire let alone at an age which still allows me some time to be able to enjoy it.

The economy in the UK is becoming tighter and tighter. Month on month stretched and stretched. The problem with unstable economies means it’s harder to move or change directions. You need the security however uncomfortable and painful it may be on a daily basis when everything else is becoming unstable around you, especially when you are the sole provider.

Today has gotten to me. Its reminded me how fragile life is, and how I’m not living it.

Just thinking out loud.

Andy.

Fun

“I have learned that you can go anywhere you want to go and do anything you want to do and buy all the things that you want to buy and meet all the people that you want to meet and learn all the things that you desire to learn and if you do all these things but are not madly in love: you have still not begun to live.”

―JoyBell

I love my family and as much as I moan about them and the trials and tribulations that comes with it I wouldn’t change them for the world.

At times it becomes almost unbearable and you just want to run away to a time before.

Which lead me to writing this spoken word piece. Time is something that is I un-negotiable. It’s a fixed set amount. I have to be at work at a certain time to a certain time. The girls have after school clubs they attend they need taking to at a certain time. The baby goes to bed around a certain time to save our sanity the next day. This leaves little time to catch up with the wife. Be able to work out. Catch up with jobs around the house. To have any alone time. To be able to find time for fun. Fun selfishly just for you.

Fun

Fun.

But at what cost.

Fun things for you to see and do.

Just you.

No partner, no kids.

No wife and kids coming along too.

Fun.

Fun things to see and do.

Just for you.

At what cost.

Kids screaming they want to go with daddy too.

A wife who complains she doesn’t get the quality time she needs with you.

Fun.

Just fun.

Just for you.

Some time alone doing just what you want to do.

Sitting and relaxing when you want to.

Turning left instead of right because you want to.

Something catches your eye wandering over to look and explore a little bit.

No rolling of eyes as you suggest it.

No screaming I need the loo, me too and me, me too.

Sometime alone doing just what you want to do.

Exploring the world and shops in your little town like you use to.

Peacefully wandering and looking at what you want to.

Coming home, turning on the crap that you want to.

No screams of I’m not watching that.

Escaping to listen to your favourite music.

Relaxing and meditating.

Closing your eyes and feeling the music run through you.

Prodded in the head and asked what are you up to.

Can I listen.

Can I watch pig on your phone.

Peppa. Peppa ringing in my ear.

Fun.

Oh What fun.

Fun at what cost.

Escaping without the guilt.

Asking if it’s ok if you can go see this.

Like a teenager nervously asking to stay out with friends that your parents don’t like.

Reminiscing of the fun you were use to.

Getting up when you wanted to.

Leaving the house for anywhere and nowhere just going because you wanted to.

Now to have that fun it comes at a cost.

A cost.

A cost that you always have to ask yourself.

Is it worth it.

All this fuss.

Just to go.

To go and have some fun.

Andy.

The Arts and young children. 

“Creativity is an area in which younger people have a tremendous advantage, since they have an endearing habit of always questioning past wisdom and authority.”

-Bill Hewlett

It feels that the arts have never been more important than when the world is portrayed as a world split and in disarray. It can be used to challenge authority, to make people stop and think, for culture to be explored and celebrated. The arts are often the first to be hit by cuts and austerity.


The arts can often be over looked when raising children. Parents avoid galleries and museums worried about their children running around touching exhibits or that they may ruin the experience for others. Since a young age our children have attended museums and galleries mainly because I enjoy them and on a wet miserable day it’s a good free indoor space to take them. The two older girls still talk about Damien Hirst’s Lamb in formaldehyde that they saw when they were just toddlers along with some exhibitions that at the time could of been classed as risky exhibitions to take them to 

Art is often pushing boundaries and holding a mirror up to society this not only opens interesting questions from the artists to consider but also opens up interesting discussions with growing and young imaginative minds. There is nothing more powerful than a question from a 4 year  to stop you dead in your tracks.

Our girls had their own art work exhibited, which reinforced the message that anyone can be an artist. 



Make art and culture a normal part of your children’s lives. Encourage them to question the things they see. In doing so they will open your eyes and change your perspective of how you view the world.

Now more than ever art galleries and museums need numbers through the doors. Please don’t ever let a stuffy old fashioned museum or gallery make you feel that you shouldn’t be there with your child.

This coming weekend seek out a local museum or gallery that you’ve walked past and never thought of going into.

You may find be surprised If not just remember 90% of them sell coffee and cake.

So there’s always that.

Andy

Be like Goggins, Live like Jay