“I have learned that you can go anywhere you want to go and do anything you want to do and buy all the things that you want to buy and meet all the people that you want to meet and learn all the things that you desire to learn and if you do all these things but are not madly in love: you have still not begun to live.”
I love my family and as much as I moan about them and the trials and tribulations that comes with it I wouldn’t change them for the world.
At times it becomes almost unbearable and you just want to run away to a time before.
Which lead me to writing this spoken word piece. Time is something that is I un-negotiable. It’s a fixed set amount. I have to be at work at a certain time to a certain time. The girls have after school clubs they attend they need taking to at a certain time. The baby goes to bed around a certain time to save our sanity the next day. This leaves little time to catch up with the wife. Be able to work out. Catch up with jobs around the house. To have any alone time. To be able to find time for fun. Fun selfishly just for you.
But at what cost.
Fun things for you to see and do.
No partner, no kids.
No wife and kids coming along too.
Fun things to see and do.
Just for you.
At what cost.
Kids screaming they want to go with daddy too.
A wife who complains she doesn’t get the quality time she needs with you.
Just for you.
Some time alone doing just what you want to do.
Sitting and relaxing when you want to.
Turning left instead of right because you want to.
Something catches your eye wandering over to look and explore a little bit.
No rolling of eyes as you suggest it.
No screaming I need the loo, me too and me, me too.
Sometime alone doing just what you want to do.
Exploring the world and shops in your little town like you use to.
Peacefully wandering and looking at what you want to.
Coming home, turning on the crap that you want to.
No screams of I’m not watching that.
Escaping to listen to your favourite music.
Relaxing and meditating.
Closing your eyes and feeling the music run through you.
Prodded in the head and asked what are you up to.
Can I listen.
Can I watch pig on your phone.
Peppa. Peppa ringing in my ear.
Oh What fun.
Fun at what cost.
Escaping without the guilt.
Asking if it’s ok if you can go see this.
Like a teenager nervously asking to stay out with friends that your parents don’t like.
Reminiscing of the fun you were use to.
Getting up when you wanted to.
Leaving the house for anywhere and nowhere just going because you wanted to.
Now to have that fun it comes at a cost.
A cost that you always have to ask yourself.
Is it worth it.
All this fuss.
Just to go.
To go and have some fun.