Fear and opportunity.  

“Putting things off is the biggest waste of life: it snatches away each day as it comes, and denies us the present by promising the future. The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow, and loses today. You are arranging what lies in Fortune’s control, and abandoning what lies in yours. What are you looking at? To what goal are you straining? The whole future lies in uncertainty: live immediately.”

-Seneca 

When we moved I gave up a well paid job, be it one I wasn’t happy in but tolerated due to the benefits that came from it and had to find  another ASAP. Which I did. However it was a job I hated not just because of the 60+ hours a week more due to the company been immoral, I was facing often vulnerable and elderly customers who had been fleeced by the company on a daily basis. At times I helped customers get out of contracts and cancel jobs before money could be taken even if this meant I took some financial hardship. Well aware that at the same time a trend was been noted regarding my customers and cancellations. 

After a year of searching I found a local job giving me more flexibility, family time and security without the drama or anything to take home. When I’m finished for the day I’m done and can switch off and don’t take anything home from it with me. 

I’ve had many, many jobs and careers in various sectors over the years from social work and charity work to telecommunications and car manufacturing and so on and so on. I’ve never been happy or content in anything I have done. I thought I would be content in my current position after going from a large immoral company to a small close knit family firm with good values. But I find after nearly 2 years and the dust as settled niggles are appearing. For the sector I work in and job I do I am paid on the low side but I work in the local area and can be home with in 10 minutes so weighing up the pros and cons I accept a lesser salary for the flexibility I have. 

However 2 things. 

  1. The cost of living is rising a lot weekly it is getting tighter and tighter feeding a family of 6 is a challenge but has the girls are getting older and soon all 4 will be in school full time. Along with that comes additional expense on top of general daily bills.
  2. I recently was made aware of what it costs the company to do what we do. Astounded at the mark up is an understatement. 

Now I understand overheads etc. But I also know what I’m paid and how quickly and easy I make the company my wages. Coincidentally whilst this and been on a relatively low wage for my sector has been playing on my mind I’ve been having thoughts of setting up my own business I have a friend who often calls on me to do additional work for him. Which is great and helps every now and then. He has though been giving my name to his customers if they would like work doing. 

I have been getting more and more calls asking for me to do work, has a one man business I know I can be very competitive within my sector and the local area. I feel I am at a point of do it now or not at all. 

I have security right now. I know exactly what and when I get paid. Been the sole earner for a family of 6 that is a comfortable feeling. There will be some financial hardship to begin with and it might fail. 

But what if it doesn’t what if it is successful ?

I’ve had financial hardship in the past 10 years ago after been assaulted at work and then unable to work for a while I was forced to go bankrupt which lead to been homeless for a short period of time and a long difficult road into depression. We’ve worked hard over the past 10 years. We have zero debt and own everything outright that we have. We have conversations and battle about this with this material credit capitalist world we live in the irony is if we were had debt we would be in a better situation. I do not wish to ever put my family through that situation fortunately we were just a family of 2 then. 

For a short period of time if I want to really make a go of this opportunity I would have to take on some debt. Which is something I fear. 

Is it worth the risk. 

I am not looking at diving in straight away. I could do additional work on evenings and some weekends to grow the business along side my day job. However living in a semi rural area I believe my employer would find out that I am competing against them whilst working for them. This sits uncomfortably with me and ultimately I imagine it will lead to a very difficult conversation where an ultimatum will be asked one I will have to answer. 

One in which I do not know which way I would answer. 
Be like Goggins, Live like Jay

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